


Sweetie, where did you hear that word?

by Formula_Tea



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Football, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-20 09:36:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3645483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Formula_Tea/pseuds/Formula_Tea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Babysitting prompts: "Uhm, sweetie where did you learn that word from?" With Rob babysitting Feliphino Massa and teaching him swear words and then Rafaela comes him and after Robs gone he starts swearing at her and Felipe</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sweetie, where did you hear that word?

“Are you fucking blind?”

Felipinho couldn’t sleep…

“There is no way that was off side.”

…so now he was sat on the bottom step of the stairs…

“Don’t give me that, Chiles. We’re not winning, because the ref’s a blind wanker.”

…listening to his Tio Wob…

“Oh, shut up. Fucking brummie twat.”

…watch football.

Rob pushed himself off of the sofa, going to make his contribution to the usual half time piss and tea run whilst the _brummie twat_ continued to talk about things he knew nothing about.

“Oh,” he said, finding Felipinho sat on the stairs. “What are you doing up?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Felipinho said, sleepily, holding up his arms to be carried back up the stairs.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Rob repeated, lifting Felipinho up. “Do you want another story?”

“Mm-huh,” Felipinho said, rubbing his eyes.

“Of course you do,” Rob said. “I’m pretty sure mummy and daddy don’t let you have this many stories.”

“Please?”

“Alright then…”

 

“Come on, Felipinho. Eat your peas.”

Peas were yucky. They looked yucky, and they smelt yucky, and they tasted yucky. Or he guessed they would taste yucky. He hadn’t actually eaten them yet. They looked like lots of little green alien eggs on his plate and he was not going to eat them. What if they hatched inside him and little green aliens crawled out of his belly button?

Raffaela lifted a spoon full of peas from her son’s plate, but Felipinho turned away, his mouth clamped shut. He was _not_ going to let little green aliens crawl out of his belly button.

“They’re very tasty,” Raffaela said, hopefully. “And they’ll make you grow up big and strong.”

“They’re not tasty,” Felipinho mumbled, opening his mouth as little as possible so that his mother couldn’t shove the spoon into his mouth.

“They are,” Raffaela said. “Look, I’ve eaten all mine. If you don’t eat your peas, you won’t grow up. Papa didn’t eat his peas when he was little and look at him now.”

Felipinho looked up at his mother, suspiciously. He didn’t trust her. He was pretty sure this was the same thing she’d told him when she’d made him eat carrots.

“Do-?”

Before he could finish his question, the spoon of peas had been shoved into his mouth and Raffaela was grinning at him, triumphantly. Another vegetable down. By the time he was fifteen they might have tried most of the garden.

Felipinho pulled a face, not sure if he was more disgusted by the taste or by his mother’s tricks, but he swallowed them anyway. Maybe if he chewed them enough, the eggs would be crushed and the baby aliens killed.

“How do they taste then?” Raffaela asked, hopefully.

“Like fucking brummie twat,” Felipinho said, disgusted. He was not going to try peas again. And he wasn’t going to fall for his mother’s tricks anymore. He was sticking to fruit and chips and chocolate from now on.

Raffaela was shocked into silence, then spoon falling down into the plate of peas. Felipinho frowned at his mother’s reaction. She couldn’t think he would really like peas, could she?

“Sweetie, where did you learn that word from?”

“What word?” Felipinho asked.

“Well… all of them,” Raffaela said.

Felipinho thought back, trying to remember where he’d first heard the words. It was him who’d introduced it to his friends at school, so it couldn’t be them. Oh, yeah…

“Tio Wob,” Felipinho said, smiling. He couldn’t get into trouble for anything his uncle taught him.

Raffaela sighed. “Get Rob to baby sit, he says. Nothing can go wrong.”

 

“My son called peas a twat,” Felipe told Rob, making the Brit promptly spit out his tea. “Is not funny.”

He’d just gotten off the phone with his wife, who seemed to blaming him for this. So now it was his mess to clean up. Which meant it was Rob’s mess to clean up, especially seeing as it was his fault in the first place.

“It kind of is,” Rob said, grinning as he put his tea down, trying to find something to wipe his chin with. “A bit random, isn’t it? Most people come in with a ‘how are you?’ or ‘have you finished that work I sent you?’.”

“Have been teaching my son bad words,” Felipe said, folding his arms.

“What?”

“Says he learns these words from you,” Felipe said. “’Fucking’ and ‘twat’ and ‘brummie’.”

Rob looked at him as if he’d gone mad. Why would he have done something like that? The only time he even used the word brummie was when he was…

“Oh…”

“Oh, what? Guess it is true.”

“Yeah,” Rob said, biting his lip. “I’ll sort it.”

“Had better sort it,” Felipe said, handing Rob his phone. “Am not getting the blame for this as well.”


End file.
